" The Journey of My Life "

Life is not really easy as some people said. Once you decided to walk on it, you have to have such a high responsibility. My life is now more harder than I used to imagine..... I have chosen a way to walk which I always thought that I can accurately handle it. I seemed to be so confident on my first decision. I always told myself that I could do it no matter what. Time walk fast damn fast. From year to year, I started to see so many things run into my life. Not  only a happy things involved into my life , but also a lot of awful things that I never expected to happen happened step by step. I don't know where I get an envy feeling from. I envy my friends every times I saw them successful. I of course feel so happy once I see them smile, but those happiness started to ask me WHY? Why they can, but I can't. I asked myself every time I saw them successful. It might be thousand, ten thousand or might be million times already that I have asked myself with the same question. Reading one note of my best High School friend,  "Moments of mine/ 3 things 2 say through 1 word TCMF" has made me find a true answer of those uncountable Questions in my life....He tried pretty hard in his life's path. Back to myself, I truly do nothing important for my life. I was suddenly feel like I was just a useless person. Truly, I was just lacking of TRYING. I am now speechless on how to captain my ship.... I know my own destination, but I really don't know how to reach it. I told myself uncountable time to keep trying till the end of my life, but those weaknesses keep pushing me down and down....... My life is now getting stuck in the middle way..... I don't know what to do, where to go, how to solve, and when I reach my real dream.... I have just stepped to a half step of my life... My real journey is not really happen yet.... My life right now is just a fake journey to always make me less of confident. And now I started to know that my roots are truly weak......What I can do now is hoping once day I can see my real smile from my real HEART <3.....